Limit appearance-based compliments. While saying “You look nice today” can offer a short-term confidence boost, only complimenting a person’s appearance can feel shallow. Compliments can sometimes be difficult to accept. Suddenly heaping on praise can feel overwhelming and inauthentic, especially if your partner is not used to that. Keep your partner’s comfort in mind as you offer compliments.
If your partner feels they always mess things up, you can share times where they’ve helped you or others. Your partner may feel people dislike them after a social interaction, and you know this is not the case. Share your own experience of the event to help shift your partner’s perspective to a more positive outlook.
”I admire how quick-thinking you are. ” ”I appreciate how good you are with children. ” ”You get so passionate when talking about your interests, and I love that about you. ”
Pop on your favorite movies or get cozy while solving a puzzle together. Relax in each other’s presence while you watch a sunset or look at the stars.
Try starting a garden. Redecorate your home. Learn a new hobby, such as knitting, pottery, or playing an instrument.
Try your hand at the soup kitchen or building houses for underprivileged families. Even if the two of you aren’t particularly handy, you will learn helpful DIY skills while serving your community. Animal lovers can check with their local shelter for volunteer opportunities. Many shelters could use help walking dogs, fostering pets, or manning booths at adoption events. Tech savvy? Volunteer to help the elderly learn new computer skills.
Sometimes the care they need may not involve words. They may just want a shoulder to lean on, a kind ear, and maybe a little commiseration. Similarly, try to resist fixing your partner’s problem. Although you may think of some helpful solutions, hold off on making assumptions before you know the scope of your partner’s needs. In fact, they might already have a solution and are just looking to vent.
Overcoming small disagreements before they become major problems will help your relationship in the long run.
Let your partner know when you need to spend time alone or with other friends. Encourage your partner to get professional help. You can support your partner, but you must also recognize that there’s only so much that you can do for them. Know your limits and your boundaries.
