For more information, check out How to Be a Good Listener.
Avoid saying more subtle things that express blame as well, such as, “If only you had left sooner,” or, “I wish you hadn’t given your number out like that. " Someone who says these things might mean well, but the phrasing implies that the person could have prevented being a victim, which isn’t true.
Especially if life feels out of control, it can be important for the person to have control over certain aspects of responding, as stalking can feel very out of control.
Help the victim come up with a list of people to talk to about the stalking. You may wish to help tell friends and family members and alert them what to do in case the stalker comes around. You may want to provide a photo of the stalker.
Whether a threat is direct or indirect, report it to law enforcement. You may also want to encourage the person to file a police report for things like vandalism or voyeurism. If the person feels overwhelmed, offer to call law enforcement.
You can help this person safety plan by including law enforcement and professional advocates.
You may want to create a codeword that signals danger. If your friend says the codeword, that means that they need immediate help.
If the person is being followed, tell them not to go home. Instead, go somewhere public where other people will be, or call emergency services. Encourage the person to change up their usual routine often to prevent the stalker from finding them throughout the day. For example, if the person usually goes to the gym after work, then they could alternate between going in the morning, during their lunch break, and after work.
Ask your friend to consider fostering or adopting a dog as a sort of alarm system.
Encourage your friend to call police immediately if accidental contact occurs and the stalker begins to follow the person.
If a meeting is absolutely necessary, meet at a safe public place, like the police station.
You may suggest getting a new email address and adjusting social media settings so that the stalker cannot get in contact. Encourage the person to use a different name on social media, change the photo, or block the stalker.
if the stalker enters your friend’s property, encourage them to video or photograph the events (after they have made contact with the police) if it is safe to do so.
