Ask questions. Teachers and staff want to be sure you know what to do and if you understand their instructions or not. Don’t be afraid to ask questions! Teachers are there to help you! If you’re not sure, just ask. [2] X Expert Source Alicia OglesbyProfessional School Counselor Expert Interview. 29 October 2020. If your school has a student handbook, look it over. While it may not cover everything, it will make clear rules, policies, and expectations. Act mature. While staff will not demand perfection, your behavior will likely be held to a higher standard than in elementary school. [3] X Research source
Try to ignore rumours, even when they’re about you, and if anyone talks or asks you about a rumour, tell them to ignore it and not spread it around. Never start rumours; they only break friendships, create enemies, hurt feelings, and make things worse for everyone. Rumours have been known to cause loneliness, depression, anxiety, and even suicide. If you have an issue with someone, talk to them directly. Be kind. If someone is talking nastily about someone, feel free to react with kindness. For instance, if there is gossip about a breakup between two people, you can react by saying, “That would be too bad if they broke up. But I don’t see how that’s any of my business. " For rumours of a person’s sexual orientation, know that a lot of people are LGBT+ and there is nothing wrong with it. If people are, they are. Help stop rumours by standing up for people and not participating by spreading the rumor. Protect other people’s privacy and mistakes. You wouldn’t want someone spreading your personal secrets around, would you? Drama is unnecessary. Some people think that a life has to be filled with drama to be important and appreciated by others. It does not. Focusing on the things, people, and ideas that are really important is better than worrying about who is going to ask who to the dance.
Understand that in middle school, intentionally or, in most cases, unintentionally, you will make enemies. The only way to survive is to have a close group of friends who you can trust. You don’t need too many close friends; three or four good friends, and then several casual friends is definitely enough. Be nice and friendly to everyone, but don’t worry about making everyone love you. [7] X Research source
Don’t be afraid to tell an adult if someone asks or tells you to do something really bad. This doesn’t make you a snitch: it makes you a good person doing the right thing. If you make a bad decision, talk to an adult you can trust. Talking to friends about it is the fastest way to start gossip. But a warning: They may want revenge if you do that, and if they are willing enough, that may be a bad can of worms to open.
Don’t be afraid to tell an adult if someone asks or tells you to do something really bad. This doesn’t make you a snitch: it makes you a good person doing the right thing. If you make a bad decision, talk to an adult you can trust. Talking to friends about it is the fastest way to start gossip. But a warning: They may want revenge if you do that, and if they are willing enough, that may be a bad can of worms to open.
Girls tend to mature much quicker than boys, which means your peers may or may not be ready to date. Middle school romances do not tend to last long. Remember that movies, TV, and other media may portray middle school dating in an unrealistic way. Your results will vary. Some date, some do not. Do not feel like you are the only person who does not have a significant other, or have to be in a relationship. Most people will not be. You will mature at your own rate. In middle school, physical maturity is in a rapid state of development. Some seventh graders may look like they could sneak into high school prom, while others look much younger.
You might feel like everyone is watching you while you change, but they are really focusing on getting themselves changed. Nobody will look at you, because they are too busy thinking you are watching them. Everyone wants to just keep to themselves and change as quickly as possible! In most middle schools in the U. S. , you will not usually be forced to shower after class. While once this was almost universal practice, most PE teachers find there is not enough time for showering after class as there was in previous decades, and many are sensitive to this fact that it was a problematic time for students and staff alike. In most school locker rooms, you can usually change in a bathroom stall or shower stall if you prefer. A good strategy is to change your shirt first, when you change your pants, as your shirt will hide your underwear if you tend to be rather shy. If you’re a girl and you feel self-conscious about being on your period while you’re having to change, just wear black or brown underwear. No one will notice at all. Middle school is all about those little changes going on your body; if you feel nervous about them, talk to your parent or guardian, another trusted adult or a mentor/counselor. PE classes may not be the harsh physical activities portrayed in media or endured by your parents. In more recent years many schools now focus more on “life activities” that are not as competitive or intense. While competitive sports like soccer, football or field hockey may still be in the curriculum, it is also common to have units on yoga, cup stacking, rock climbing, cooperative games, pickleball, and archery.
For example, you should learn to ask for help when you need it. Sometimes you’ll feel silly asking for help or you don’t want to admit that you’re having problems, but you don’t have to. Everyone has problems, and whoever you ask for help will totally understand. They’ve had to ask for help at some point too. Apologize and accept the consequences when you’ve done something wrong. After making a mistake, refusing to acknowledge that you did something bad (even if you didn’t mean to) will just make things harder for you. You’ll feel guilty or you’ll have to deal with people being angry with you, and you don’t want that. If you spread a rumor, apologize. If you lie to a teacher, admit it. [9] X Expert Source Alicia OglesbyProfessional School Counselor Expert Interview. 29 October 2020. Communicate clearly. By doing this, you are avoiding most of the problems people face. A lot of the time, rumors get started because someone misunderstands what you say or you misunderstand what they say. You might also accidentally offend someone if you say something you don’t mean. Be careful, clear and always make sure you know what you’re saying.
Don’t forget about sports! There are sports teams if you want to join a team, but there might also be clubs that are just about watching or playing friendly matches if you aren’t really good enough or don’t want to join the official school teams. Volunteering is also a good way to meet new people and make new friends. Your school might have a group that volunteers to raise money for events, make cards for elderly people or people in the hospital, clean up local parks, or other great activities.
For example, if you like Adventure Time, you can wear a Lumpy Space Princess pin on your backpack. If you like video games, get a class binder with a picture from your favorite game on it. If you like a sports team, wear a bracelet for that team. Do not go overboard. Dressing head to toe with Pokémon clothing will definitely get the point across you love that franchise. But it may be off-putting or weird if taken to the extreme. Shared interests are great, but it is not the only way to make a connection.
Don’t forget to speak up so that people can hear you! Talk like you mean it! Don’t lie about yourself. Even if you say things that make you look awesome, you are risking that someone will find out and you’ll end up without friends. . . Maybe you don’t think you’re so great but other people do!
It’s important to be actively nice, not just polite. Help people that have trouble in class, stand up for others when they’re getting bullied, and do nice things for people when you can. Also, give people honest compliments when they seem like they need it! You never know when someone is going through some really tough times. They could feel like they’re dying inside and they might not show it. Your kind words or deeds could make a world of difference to them. Remember that sometimes, when people are acting really jerky, they do that because they feel bad about themselves or something that’s happening in their life. They’re mean because they don’t know what kindness looks like! Try to be nice to them even if they’re mean to you. It might help make them a better person.
It’s okay to things labeled as “basic”, because you should do what you need and want to do.
If you care about what people think, don’t change yourself. Take a deep breath and stride into school confidently. Be who you are. Smile, joke, play and laugh. More often than not that’s what people want. You will be liked.
Consider getting a planner. You also want to keep your life organized! Get a planner and carefully organize your day. Set aside time for homework, time for hanging out, time for getting ready and eating breakfast in the morning, and everything else you need to do during your day.
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Read books about people who inspire you. Figure out what they did to get to where they got and figure out if you want to do the same. Clubs are a great way to explore things that make you happy! Try joining one at your school. The internet can also be a great place to explore things you like, especially if you like nerdy stuff! You’ll have a much easier time finding people who like the same stuff. Just be careful because just like the real world, there are lots of bad people out there on the internet.
For example, if you’re good at drawing, take an art class. If you have a talent for learning songs, join the band. If you’re good at math, offer to tutor other students (for extra credit or money!). The possibilities are endless!
For example, don’t worry about stuff like losing a game (it’s just a game!), feeling left out (you’ll find your crowd someday and you’re probably not as alone as you feel), people making accusations about you (their drama is theirs, not yours, ignore them), or other kids teasing you (you’ll be the one laughing at them when they work at 7-11 in twenty years and you have a college degree). Instead, worry about things like injustice, current events, and the world around you. These are things that matter and that you should always worry about: because if you don’t worry, you won’t do anything about it, and if people don’t do anything then the problems will never get better.
You might notice, for example, that while all the other girls are giggling over boys, you don’t feel the same way. You might find yourself wanting a very close relationship with another girl. This shouldn’t make you feel like there is something wrong with you because there is nothing wrong with you. Give things time and take things slow. You never know how you’ll feel in a few months or even a few years. You might think that you’re weird because your family doesn’t look like or doesn’t talk like everyone else’s. Maybe your parents don’t speak English. Maybe you have two dads. Maybe your dad is black and your mom is Asian. The important thing to understand is that families come in all shapes and sizes, and as long as you love each other, that’s all that matters. You are just like everyone else. No matter how your family looks.
If you have constant, painful break-outs it might be a good idea to consult your doctor. Many times they can prescribe medicines that will help your skin look and feel better!