Be proactive in selecting the location. She’ll appreciate not having to do all the work. Inform her of what you’ll do during the date before you meet her. If you want her input, you could give her options by saying something like “What do you think of going to Zeera’s for lunch, or would you prefer to walk in the park instead?"[2] X Expert Source Stefanie SafranDating Coach & Matchmaker Expert Interview. 8 May 2020.
If you do go out for drinks or dinner, try not to make it seem like an interview. Sit next to her instead of across from her. Choose a situation that will enable you to be your best dating self. For example, if you don’t drink and are often tired after the workday, saying “Let’s meet up for a drink on Thursday night” might not be the best option. [4] X Expert Source Stefanie SafranDating Coach & Matchmaker Expert Interview. 8 May 2020.
One strategy is to reveal an appropriate vulnerability in an amusing way, such as discussing a funny but impactful story from childhood, something you don’t do well now, or a fear you have.
Listen to her answers without judgment. Don’t ridicule, no matter what you think. Refrain from scrolling through your phone, texting others, and taking calls unless they’re absolutely urgent. Show that you’re fully focused and paying attention to her answers. [7] X Expert Source Stefanie SafranDating Coach & Matchmaker Expert Interview. 8 May 2020.
Doing it subtly means suggesting the date continue, not demanding it. Be respectful.
If she seems tense, unless it’s in regards to how to end the date, it’s better to avoid asking. Try to build the connection more if you have a second date. If she refuses, let her go. Don’t pressure her.
Reassure her that you won’t do anything she doesn’t want you to do.
Being polite and respectful involves not talking badly about past relationship partners, too. It’s often better to avoid this subject entirely and focus on your current date partner.
