“Is now a good time to tell you about the project I’ve been working on?” “I read something in the news about sea lions that I’m really excited about. May I tell you about it?” “I understand you’re busy making supper now and want to be alone. Is there a better time that we could talk about it later?”

For example, you may have been taught the 70/30 rule, which is that you must listen 70% of the time and only talk 30%. But sometimes, someone might really want you to infodump because they want to learn about the subject. In that case, the 70/30 rule isn’t relevant.

Nobody likes being interrupted. If you tend to interrupt people, teach yourself to slow down and say “I’m sorry. What were you saying?” Some people may be indirect and try to hint that they want to end the conversation or change the subject. This can be hard to pick up on, so just do your best to follow their lead.

Ask questions from time to time Nod Make remarks like “Uh huh” or “Yeah?” to encourage you to continue Look at you (unless they’re listening while doing a task like driving or chores) Face in your direction Share their thoughts and opinions on what you’re saying

Get very quiet Check the time a lot Try to change the subject Check their phone or get distracted Look at a door or other way out, because they want to leave Lean away, maybe turning their feet or body away Look around (if they’re non-autistic) Fall asleep (if they’re tired)

“You’re very quiet. Is something on your mind?” “I noticed that you’re checking the time a lot. Do you need to leave for something?” “I get the sense that you’re losing interest. Would you like to tell me about your day?” “I have a hard time reading people sometimes, so I need to ask. Are you still interested in talking about history, or do you want to change the subject?”

Sometimes people are tired, or busy, or distracted and not able to be good listeners. That’s okay. It’s related to their state of mind, not how much they love you. Non-autistic people can’t usually focus on one subject for as long as an autistic person can. This doesn’t mean anything bad about them or you. It’s just how their brain works.

Many of these skills aren’t specific to autism. Some non-autistic people don’t know how to do these things either. Being autistic doesn’t make you automatically bad at conversations. Often, a social mistake can be fixed with a short apology, like “Sorry I interrupted you so much yesterday. I’m working on my impulse control. Feel free to ask me to slow down if I do it again. "

Some people just don’t care. Some people like talking to you, but don’t feel comfortable with your special interest (e. g. a person with a phobia of medical procedures not wanting to hear about them). Some people are judgmental or rude, and are usually very bad conversation partners. Some people are verbally abusive, and will look for any reason to criticize you.

A school club A hobby-related group A class about your interest An online forum about your interest An autistic space online where infodumps are welcome

If you’re a child, you may need parental permission to start a blog. Be sure to understand internet safety, too. If you talk about being autistic, protect your privacy for the future. [7] X Research source If you don’t like blogging, you can try writing or editing wikiHow articles about your special interest.

Special interests can help you build key career skills. [9] X Research source They can also help with your emotional health and social skills. [10] X Research source