“What are you up to this weekend?” “How long have you been with your boyfriend?” “I had a girlfriend, but we broke up a few months ago. It was hard, but I feel much better about it now. "
Say, “It must be nice to live with your partner. What’s that like?” Or say, “You’ve been together for two years? That’s a pretty long time…”
Talk about other girls in front of her. Without being too obvious about it, see if she gets jealous. Give her a compliment or two. See if she gives one back later. [5] X Expert Source Connell BarrettDating Coach Expert Interview. 24 September 2019.
Though you do want to be seen as a romantic prospect, that does not mean you want her to see you as a sharper, snazzier, version of her current boyfriend. She should see you as someone completely new, refreshing, and exciting, not as another guy she can take to the movies and hold hands with. If she starts complaining to you about her boyfriend issues, say, “Hey, you can save that stuff for your best friend. I just really don’t want to go there, okay?”
The girl who lets you take her out to dinner and the movies only to go home to her boyfriend. Don’t take her out like you’re her boyfriend unless you actually are her boyfriend. She may just be using you for free food and drinks. The girl who flirts with you for months but doesn’t let it go anywhere. Don’t be with the perpetual flirt, who just likes to get attention from guys and nothing more. The girl with the crazy boyfriend. You do not want to get mixed up in that. The girl who is just looking for a guy-pal. (See above about avoiding the Friend Zone at all costs). The girl who is just using you to make her boyfriend jealous. Stay as far away as possible.
Even if she is entertaining the idea of being with you, nothing will put it out of her mind faster than if you blatantly try to hook up with her.
Letting her realize how awesome you are just by being your charming self is better than degrading yourself by begging her to hang out with you when you know she is taken.
Show her that you really care about what she thinks. Ask her what she thinks about your new shoes, your chemistry teacher, or a new band you like. Let her see that you really value her thoughts.
“I think your new haircut really makes your eyes stand out. It looked great before, but it’s even prettier now. " “You’re one of the only girls I’ve met who loves sports and who is really fun to talk to about almost anything. That’s so cool. " “I really feel like I can talk to you about anything. "
Open up to her about the things that matter to you. Just make sure that she’s also opening up. After you tell her something that might be a bit private, you can say, “I haven’t talked to anyone about that in a long time. It’s just so easy to talk to you, for some reason. "
Don’t be afraid to talk to her about something that you think may be a little random if it’s funny or interesting. You don’t have to fit any kind of mold.
Seriously, the sooner this can happen, the better. If you’ve been flirting around for over a month, chances are, she’ll never make the break.
This is something people don’t get: break-ups are always painful, even if you’re the person who did the breaking up. You may think that she feels totally free and happy because she got rid of the dead weight in her life, but she’ll still be dealing with pain, and the inevitable grief that comes from saying goodbye to something, even if it wasn’t all that great, and you have to be understanding of that. Though she shouldn’t be the one to call or text you every time, make sure to give her some of the power. If you’re the one who initiates contact every time, she may think that she’s not ready for another boyfriend or for anything serious.
Give it time. If she was in a five year relationship, then yeah, she may not be ready to talk about that part of her life for a long time. Maybe even a year will pass before she brings up her ex at all, because it will hurt too much to do it before hand. Be patient. If you keep asking questions about her ex, you’ll come off as jealous and she’ll get annoyed. Yeah, there may be this whole part of her life that you don’t have access to for a while because it has to do with her ex. Nobody said snagging a girl with a boyfriend was easy, or that it didn’t have consequences. But if you wait out this painful period, it’ll be worth it.
Your job is to focus on your new relationship instead of worrying that she’s seeing someone on the side; if you’re constantly jealous and paranoid because of the way that you met, then your newfound love will never wok. If she just got out of something serious, the last thing she may want is to feel like she’s smothered all over again and can’t go more than ten minutes without checking in with you.
This doesn’t mean you can never talk about the period when you were getting together on the d/l. But it does mean that you should focus on all of the great things ahead of you, not on the pain that you might have felt in the beginning. Find new things that neither of you have done that you have always wanted to try, whether it’s making your own sushi or going on a long hike. Find things you can claim as yours and that you can use to build a solid foundation for your love. Then just sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride!
