Make sure to keep up confident body language as you approach. Keep your head up high, your gaze straight ahead of you, and maintain good posture as you approach her. If you wait too long to say hello, she might feel like she’s getting ignored.
Once you know the girl’s name, use it a few times so she thinks that you’re really invested in the conversation and care about what she has to say. Just once or twice is enough. A helpful trick when you’re introducing yourself to a new girl is to pretend that you have a girlfriend/wife and they’re standing next to you. Don’t say anything to a girl that you wouldn’t feel comfortable saying in front of your girlfriend/wife if you had one. This will stop you from saying anything off-putting that could make a girl uncomfortable. Keep things light and casual at first. [2] X Expert Source Connell BarrettDating Coach Expert Interview. 24 September 2019.
Remember that, while it’s important to be yourself, you should hold back on the more eccentric stuff, the kind of qualities that make people say, “You have to get to know him first. . . " You don’t want to creep her out! Try to talk about things she might be interested in as well.
Smiling will put the girl at ease and will make her feel like you really like what she has to say. Don’t smile the whole time, obviously, or you’ll look nervous, or even constipated.
Picking light topics to start off doesn’t mean you have to pick boring topics. You don’t have to talk about the weather just to avoid saying anything slightly personal. Unless you live somewhere where people are actually interested in the weather, then talk about it. Follow the flow of the conversation. Sometimes two people really hit it off and start opening up to each other much faster than they would expect. If the girl starts opening up to you and really trusts you, you can hold back a bit less, too.
Picking light topics to start off doesn’t mean you have to pick boring topics. You don’t have to talk about the weather just to avoid saying anything slightly personal. Unless you live somewhere where people are actually interested in the weather, then talk about it. Follow the flow of the conversation. Sometimes two people really hit it off and start opening up to each other much faster than they would expect. If the girl starts opening up to you and really trusts you, you can hold back a bit less, too.
When you’re talking, make sure you ask open-ended questions instead of “yes” or “no” questions, so you can keep the conversation going. [5] X Research source Make sure to avoid awkward silences! Remember: things will only be awkward if you make them awkward, be confident and keep the conversation flowing as best as you can. Don’t despair if you feel like you have nothing in common. You’ll be able to find something eventually if you keep up a fun conversation for long enough. It may turn out that you don’t have so much in common, but that you click because you have similar personalities or outlooks. That’s great, too. When you mention a band you like, ask her if she likes the band too; let her see that you care about her interests when you’re talking about yours.
Making eye contact shows confidence. If you make a point of locking eyes with the girl, she’ll see that you’re confident about getting to know her.
Ask her what she thinks about whatever it is you care about – your favorite music, the new fashion trends this season, or the importance of friendship. Though it’s important to ask for her opinion, try to avoid talking about religion or politics immediately, or you may get into an argument you didn’t anticipate. [7] X Research source When she says something, make sure you respond and show that you’re listening by rephrasing what she says occasionally. You can say, “I completely agree with what you said about how hard it is to stay in touch with friends who move out of town. . . " to show that you’re hanging on to her every word.
If you’re going for the physical compliment, don’t do more than compliment her clothes, hair, or in more intimate cases, her eyes. It’s not time to freak her out by telling her how hot she is before she even knows your last name. If she has a great laugh, don’t be afraid to tell her that.
Some girls don’t like talking about school that much. If you’re sensing a lack of interest, just move on. Don’t make it feel like an interrogation. You can talk about the subjects you like, too.
Err on the side of caution. Don’t tease her unless you really feel confident that she’ll get it. Follow her lead. If she has been teasing you for a while, it’s okay to tease her back. Just make sure to keep your jokes on the same light level.
If you try a joke and she doesn’t laugh, show her that you don’t take yourself too seriously. Say, “Maybe I’ll have better luck next time. . . " and it’ll make her laugh. If she makes a funny comment, don’t just say, “That’s really funny. " Show her that you can make a funny comment right back, or laugh with her at it.
If the girl sees that you’re comfortable enough with yourself that you don’t have to try so hard to get her to like you, she’ll want to talk to you even more. If you flex your bicep, talk about what great shape you’re in, or tell her how good you look with your shirt off, she will be nothing but turned off.
You don’t have to brag to be confident. You can talk about how much you love baseball without telling her that you’re a star athlete. One sign of confidence is being able to laugh at yourself. This will show her that you don’t take yourself too seriously.
If you’re really nervous and it’s painfully obvious, you can make a small joke about it to lighten the mood. If you’re really the nervous type, bring a bottle of water or soda around with you so you can sip on it from time to time to calm yourself down and to take small breaks. [10] X Research source
Even if she doesn’t notice for a while, other people (and other girls) will notice you’re acting more impressive around her. If you want to see the girl again, then your lies will eventually catch up with you. If you want her to like you, then she has to like the real you – from the beginning.
You can even catch yourself if you’re having a negative moment. If she asks you how traffic was getting there and you say, “Terrible,” fix the negatively by saying, “But I’m really loving this new audio book I’m listening to,” or “But I saw the cutest family of deer on the way over. " If she asks you about a certain band that you really hate, you can say something like, “I haven’t really heard enough of their music” or “They’re not my favorite, but they’re pretty good. " Don’t go off on a rant about how much you hate something when you’re first talking to a girl.
If you’re feeling more shy, get her Facebook or email, and send her something goofy with it–a link to a web comic she’d enjoy or a silly forum thread. It’s also less awkward than the phone. It helps her notice you more and you have a better chance of meeting again. Get her contact information just when the conversation is going great, and you’re at your peak of finding fun things to talk about. Don’t wait until the conversation drags to ask for her contact info, or she’ll be less inclined to see you again.
