Make a short list. List everything you’re interested in. Go for more detail rather than less. For example, instead of “music,” write “playing classical guitar, going to concerts, collecting old funk LPs. ” Expand the list into topics. Using the example above, you might think about what brand of guitar you own or rent versus the brand you wish you could have, what concerts you’ve been to, and which funk bands you enjoy. Make a mental note of your opinion on each topic. This will help you to know yourself better. When you talk about any subject you have an interest in, you’ll be able to speak confidently about it and explain why you’re interested in it, which makes good conversation.
Find a time and a place. Whenever you’re home alone is a great choice. It doesn’t have to be regularly scheduled; just seize opportunities as they arise. Say something. Try to talk a little bit about something rather than just mumbling a few words. Tell yourself about the plot of the last TV show or movie you watched. If you can’t think of anything to say, find a book and read aloud from it. When reading from a book, try to make the words sound natural, rather than the stilted sight-reading drone that many people lapse into. Read a sentence or two in your head first, then say them aloud as though you had just thought of them yourself. Books of poetry are ideal for this. Poetry is almost always meant to be read aloud, and the concentration required to be able to read a poem naturally will help distract you from feeling silly. Keep talking for a little while. Try to speak out loud for at least a minute. Over time, this will help you get used to initiating conversations and speaking your mind, which are important skills for making a good impression on your crush.
Find a time and a place. Whenever you’re home alone is a great choice. It doesn’t have to be regularly scheduled; just seize opportunities as they arise. Say something. Try to talk a little bit about something rather than just mumbling a few words. Tell yourself about the plot of the last TV show or movie you watched. If you can’t think of anything to say, find a book and read aloud from it. When reading from a book, try to make the words sound natural, rather than the stilted sight-reading drone that many people lapse into. Read a sentence or two in your head first, then say them aloud as though you had just thought of them yourself. Books of poetry are ideal for this. Poetry is almost always meant to be read aloud, and the concentration required to be able to read a poem naturally will help distract you from feeling silly. Keep talking for a little while. Try to speak out loud for at least a minute. Over time, this will help you get used to initiating conversations and speaking your mind, which are important skills for making a good impression on your crush.
Start with people you already interact with a little bit, like coworkers. Ask them how their week has been going, and use short questions to encourage them to talk more. Most girls will be glad to talk with you for a moment. If a girl asks about your week after she’s told you about hers, do the polite thing and tell her, in about the same level of detail she used when talking to you. (Leave out the fact that you’re trying to get better at talking to girls. ) Be friendly with project partners. At school or during community service, you will often be paired with a partner. When your partner is a girl you don’t know very well, a little geniality will go a long way towards making things comfortable for both of you. Try talking about the project rather than asking about her. If she responds well, continue on, and mix in small talk and simple questions as you go along. Don’t ask her about herself or her life. Instead, ask her what she thinks of another person, such as the teacher, or an upcoming event you both know about. Don’t talk too often. Show that you’re primarily interested in being helpful and completing your project together. Speak as thoughts come to you, rather than pushing the conversation along.
Keep up a daily hygiene regimen of bathing, face cleaning, tooth brushing, and hair care. Wear deodorant. Clip your fingernails regularly. If you wear cologne, remember: less is more. Spray enough onto your wrists and the base of your neck that you can smell it from a foot or two away at most, but no more. Good cologne will dry down and last several hours; there is no need to overdo it. Always dress your best. Use clean clothes, and plan outfits the evening before you wear them so you don’t have to make last-minute substitutions. Be on your best behavior. You don’t have to stop being the class clown if that’s who you are, but you shouldn’t say or do anything that you wouldn’t want your crush to know about. You never know what might get back to her. Be kind and forgiving with others, and avoid getting into trouble with higher-ups.
Get her attention. Call her name and wave at her while smiling. Look happy to see her. Meet her. Start walking up as soon as she’s acknowledged you. Don’t wait for her to come over to where you are. Show you’re proactive and confident by closing the distance yourself. If she looks upset or bothered by your greeting, or tries to pretend she doesn’t hear you, she is most likely not interested in getting to know you. Cut your losses and move on. You deserve someone who will be glad to see you.
If you don’t know your crush, introduce yourself and tell her where you’ve seen each other around. Once she recognizes you she’ll probably ask you a polite question, like “what’s up?” or “how’s it going?” Don’t answer dismissively; instead, think on your feet and say something in response that will move the conversation along. If all else fails, say that you just saw her and thought you’d come over and catch up for a bit. This allows you to jump into a conversational lead with the next statement. A good rule of thumb is that you shouldn’t say anything to a girl you’re introducing yourself to that you wouldn’t say in front of your girlfriend or wife if you had one. In other words, don’t say anything sexual or off-putting that would make her feel uncomfortable. Instead, keep things light and casual. [5] X Expert Source Connell BarrettDating Coach Expert Interview. 24 September 2019.
For example, if you both had a class with a teacher named Mr. Smith who always seemed tired, you could ask her about Mr. Smith, and respond with an observation about how tired he always looked when she answers your question. Regardless of what you’re talking about, remember to be genuine, sincere, and honest. You don’t need to put on an act or try to be someone else to win her over![6] X Expert Source Connell BarrettDating Coach Expert Interview. 24 September 2019.
Leave serious and sad topics out of this conversation. If one has to come up (for example, if she asks about someone and you know he just died), be honest, but don’t let the conversation dwell in that spot.
Don’t get too into your own interests. Keep it general enough that she can follow what’s being said without having any special knowledge. Make plenty of room for her to interject or change the subject. The important thing is to keep your conversation interesting and alive.
Alternatively, just ask to be social media friends, or request her e-mail address. This is less blatantly an invitation to date than asking for a girl’s number, and most people don’t mind giving out online information.
