As the conversation progresses, you may choose to share or express more.
For example, you might ask your husband some questions to find out how he is feeling: How is he coping with the miscarriage? What thoughts and feelings does he experience? How does he need to express himself? Ask him what kind of support he appreciates and what will be most helpful to him in getting through this time. [4] X Research source
Let each other cope and grieve in ways that feel good for each of you, and don’t accuse each other based on how you grieve. Questions like, “Why aren’t you crying or upset?” or, “Why can’t you get over this?” don’t help. Instead, accept the way each other grieves. Even if you express grief differently, know that you both experience grief in ways that work for you. Keep in mind that the after-effects of a miscarriage can include depression and anxiety, and these feelings may last for a long time. Seek help from a therapist if you are struggling to cope with these feelings.
Ask for hugs and affection when you need them. If you need to talk, say, “I need to express how I feel. I’m not looking for advice and I’d appreciate you listening. ” Be willing to give your husband support as well. This may be a difficult time for him, too.
When you need to talk, talk. Don’t shy away from bringing it up if it will help you.
You may want to take the day off of work, spend time outside, create a memory board, or journal.
Sex and intimacy are separate. While you may not be ready to return to sexual activity, share physical closeness. Cuddle, hold hands, and hug each other. Be close and share affection.
If you’re not ready to talk about the miscarriage, say, “I’m going through a difficult time and could use a hug. ”
Look for a support group near you by checking online.
Find a counselor who specializes in loss and grieving. Ask your insurance provider, general practitioner, or local mental health clinic for a referral to a therapist. You can also ask friends and family for a recommendation.
