Some exceptions to this could be on the first dates or if you are somewhere exciting or new or out of town. These guys might have been very affectionate at the beginning or might become affectionate occasionally when they are having a lot of fun. Some guys will use affection at every chance they get because that is their personality. These guys typically have upbeat personalities and are extroverted.
Does he seem to remember the things that you say? If he likes you, he probably recalls the things you have told him easily. If he isn’t into you, he may not remember the things you tell him.
If the guy you are seeing now doesn’t seem very into you, you might be with someone who is using you.
Tell your friends the stripped down, bullet point version of what has happened and use concrete examples of things he has said or done. For example, you could say “We have hung out for the past 5 weeks, and he usually hangs out with me about every 10 days. We have never hung out on a weekend, and I have not met his friends. He seems to hang out with them all of the time but never says exactly what they are doing and doesn’t invite me. When we do go out, he doesn’t hold my hand or seem affectionate until the end of the night. ”
On the other hand, a guy who is playing you is secretive, purposefully vague and tries to keep your attention by playing games. These guys don’t want you to be a real part of their lives, but might hint at having you become a bigger part of his life in the future to string you along. However, he has never comes through and invites you to meet his friends or family. If it seems like he is seeing other people and he has never told you that but seems to hint (or say) that you are the only girl he sees, he is probably playing you. You might notice that he is on dating websites or that he gets really ambiguous when talking about the things he does or the people he sees. [2] X Research source
People who are infatuated may also feel a lot of up and down emotions, but if you feel like you are going through all of your emotions alone, you probably haven’t found someone who wants to be with you. If you have had trust issues in the past, are the kind of person who is suspicious in most relationships that you are in, or have problems with persistent insecurity, talk to your friends and ask them what they think. Your friends know you the best and will be able to help you find out if the problem is with you or with him.
If you are reaching out more in the relationship but he seems to be is really into you in almost every other way, you may be with someone who simply isn’t good about phone communication. However, that is less of a possibility now that most people are very connected to and good with keeping in contact with their phones. He may say that he isn’t good with his phone but you notice the opposite when he is with you.
Sometimes guys who are players are attracted to girls who don’t put up with their games. Be prepared for this, and if he seems more interested in you than before, don’t give into his manipulation. You don’t want to be with someone who likes you just because you call him out on his lies. Your response shouldn’t turn into a guilt trip or a fight. Don’t try to make him feel guilty because you won’t be able to change him by calling him out or fighting. Remember that the only person you can control is yourself. If you are pretty sure that you will crumble if you argue with him, think about how you can distance yourself from him indirectly and quietly. The most important thing is to get out of the situation as soon as possible
For example, you could say something like, “I’ve noticed that I am more into this relationship than you are, and I want to stop seeing each other because I realize I need more. ” Depending on how close you were, you can tell him you want out of the relationship over the phone, in a text, in an email message, or in person. If you are talking to him in person, find a time and place to talk to him in the middle of the day and when you are both alert and clear headed. Ask him if he has time for a conversation and find a table or chairs in a shared space to talk. Don’t try to talk to him about the relationship after a fight or at the end of the night. An email message can be a good option if you want to clearly explain how you feel, or you don’t think that your relationship was serious enough for an in person break up.
Avoid saying things like, “You make me feel insecure. ” because that is accusing. Instead, be more specific and using your “I statement” you can say something like, “When you didn’t text me back for a couple of days after we hooked up, I felt insecure because it seemed like you only wanted to hang out with me to hook up with me. ” Be careful not to try to read his mind. Don’t accuse him of being with other girls if you don’t know that for sure, and don’t accuse him of purposefully neglecting you because you can’t read his mind. Additionally, these kinds of accusations will start fights, and it will be harder for you to make a clean break. Try to be matter of fact in your tone of voice and mature in what you say.
If you do fall back into hooking up with him again after you have broken up, don’t give up or let that stop you from trying again. It takes a lot of work and courage to end relationships with a guy you have feelings for. Pick yourself up and try again.
