On the other hand, you have to make sure that maybe you’re not letting your insecurities overrule the emotions of someone who obviously loves you. In other words, you may not feel like he loves you, but it could be just your anxieties talking. If past partners have said you get clingy sometimes, it may be a sign you’re insecure. You may also notice yourself trying to be extra nice to win his love or trying to meet his needs all the time without thinking about your own. One way to combat this type of insecurity is to pay attention to what you’re feeling instead of always focusing on others; take the time to identify each emotion. As you identify emotions, notice how it guides your behavior. If you’re feeling upset and you start worrying that your boyfriend doesn’t love you, you may find yourself trying to please him more. Often, these anxieties are unfounded, especially if he’s finding ways to show his love all the time. Also, it’s important to identify the source of your insecurity. Maybe you’ve internalized the critical voice of one of your parents, or maybe you’ve had rotten luck in past relationships with people who have mistreated you. Don’t just let your inner critic run wild. Instead, talk back to it. When you catch yourself doubting the other person or yourself, try to turn it around. For instance, if you find yourself saying “He didn’t call me back, so he probably doesn’t love me anymore,” try to stop the thought. Say, “No, that’s not right. He tells me he loves me every day. He probably just got busy. “[2] X Research source
Watch to see if he blows you off. If your guy doesn’t really care, he’s more likely to blow you off. That means he won’t make time for you as often as you’d like, and when he does, he may cancel at the last minute. If he’s not consistently making time for you, then he probably doesn’t love you. [4] X Research source Of course, sometimes, a guy is going to have a legitimate reason to cancel on you. However, he should try to give you as much notice in advance as possible. He should also be interested in rescheduling. If he’s not, he may not be that into you.
One way to make sure he’s willing is to not plan everything. Give your guy a chance to plan dates for you. He should be willing to take the initiative if he cares about you.
However, every guy is different. Maybe he’s an introvert, and he doesn’t like to spend every minute with another person, even someone he loves. Make sure you try to figure out what kind of person he is before jumping to conclusions.
You don’t necessarily need to have knock-down, drag-out fights. But you both need to be able to express your opinions and thoughts, even if it leads to an argument. If he doesn’t seem willing to engage, he may not be into you.
For instance, you could say, “I think I’m falling in love with you. I’m not sure if you feel the same way, so I’m feeling a little insecure. "
