Use visual clues to help you decide her socio-economic status. If she’s wearing designer clothes, expensive jewelry, and a high-end handbag, those are good indicators she has some money. If you know the woman, think about the people she’s dated in the past. Has she dated people who had a significantly different income than she did? That can also help you judge. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t approach her if you think she’s richer than you. For one, she may have just figured out how to appear richer than she is. For another, you should let her decide what makes you in or out of her league.
You may find it easier to judge her looks than your own. However, to truly gauge whether you are in her league, you need to be honest about your own looks. Are you just an average-looking person, while she’s got exceptionally good looks? Then she may be out of your league. If you’re not sure how to judge your looks, ask a good friend to help you figure it out, someone who will be brutally honest with you. Just be sure you can take it. Even if you’re average or below-average in the looks department, you still shouldn’t count yourself out. Let her do that for you after you approach her. Plus, she could come to find you more attractive over time if she enjoys your personality.
Of course, education and intelligence are not the same thing. You can be incredibly intelligent and only have a GED. Nonetheless, if she’s smart and sharp, she’s going to probably want someone who can keep up with her.
Other barriers could include the issue of marriage (Do you both want it?) and kids (Yes or no?). You may also have issues based on what kind of life you want. For instance, if she wants a fast-paced urban life but you prefer suburbia, then you may not be compatible.
Check in with your own negative beliefs about yourself. In terms of values and compassion, what do you have to offer?[7] X Expert Source Suzanna MathewsDating & Relationship Coach Expert Interview. 18 August 2021.
In addition, try to angle your body so it’s pointing in her direction. Doing so signals that you’re interested in her. You should also pay attention to how you move your head. Tilting it towards her indicates interest.
Also, try not to employ this method with a woman you just met if you’re alone with her. If there’s no one else around, that can seem like you’re trying to come on too strong. You can also try touching her arm or her shoulder while you’re talking. Doing so can indicate you’re interested in her.
Pick something simple to start the conversation. Ask her about what she’s drinking or the music playing. You could say something like, “Isn’t this song great?” You can also try to get her to put the spotlight on herself, so she’s not judging you. You could say something like, “What an interesting drink choice. What do you like about it?”
You could also say something like, “Would you mind moving your bag so I can sit here?” Also, give her your name and ask for hers in return.
If you’re compatible in other ways (like your values), looks may not matter as much. [18] X Expert Source Suzanna MathewsDating & Relationship Coach Expert Interview. 18 August 2021. Try drawing her out a bit to find more about her. Once you do, you’ll be able to assess whether she’s out of your league, or whether, in fact, you’re out of hers. For example, ask her about her educational background just as a point of interest, such as, “So where did you go to school?”
You don’t have to stick to her looks. If you’ve been talking to her for a few minutes, you could comment on her wittiness or the fact that she has a great laugh.
Also, don’t be afraid to crack a joke, especially one at your own expense, as it shows her you don’t take yourself too seriously.
She may also lean away, look away, or pull a bad face. You may also notice she has “closed” body language, where she crosses her arms or legs and turns away from you. She may also use her purse as a shield, of sorts, holding it in front of her body. If she shows signs of nervousness, such as rubbing her eyes, scratching her nose, or rubbing the back of her neck, that could also be a sign she isn’t interested in you.
Of course, the opposite rules apply for open body language than that of negative body language. She’ll likely turn her body towards you and lean towards you if she likes you. She’ll also leave her arms and legs uncrossed as a sign of openness.
If she tells you she’s dating someone, it’s time to back away. She has set her boundaries.
Physical safety is a top concern for women in the dating world, and by respecting her boundaries you prove you can help keep her safe. [28] X Expert Source Suzanna MathewsDating & Relationship Coach Expert Interview. 18 August 2021. Remember, relationships are based on all aspects of your person, not just good looks. Even if she is rejecting you outright because of your looks, think about it this way: you wouldn’t want to be with a person who won’t take the time to see beyond your good looks.