Are you putting little effort into the relationship, such as not contacting them and not making plans? Do you feel bored when you are with them? Do you hope that plans with them get cancelled?
For example, your friends might hang out with you at school but exclude you on the weekends. Your friends may also ignore your texts, phone calls, or emails. [3] X Expert Source Asa Don Brown, PhD, DNCCM, FAAETSClinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 22 August 2022. Before you decide your friends are excluding you, ask yourself if you are putting in the same effort you expect from them. If you don’t invite them to do things, then they may not think to invite you.
Understanding the wider context can sometimes help you to see why your friends might be distancing themselves. If you have been apart because of an issue, reach out to them to start repairing your relationship. For example, apologize first after a fight.
If the excuses don’t quite make sense, the person might use them to create distance or spend some time apart from you.
If you find yourself asking for validation from your friends, step back. If you’re worried about the friendship ending and want constant reassurance, it can turn into a self-fulfilling prophesy in no time. Make sure that you are not being needy. Spend time working on things that are special to you instead of asking for others to validate you.
Other bullying behavior might include gossiping, spreading rumors, or purposefully embarrassing you.
You might laugh along but really feel insecure or unhappy that they’re making fun of you. If your friends say hurtful things about you, say, “I don’t think that’s funny. In fact, it’s really rude and hurtful. " If they continue to say these things, then they aren’t being good friends. Feeling like you fit in with these friends isn’t worth being put down or made fun of.
If you friends are being mean, don’t feel like you need them or you must win them back. If they aren’t treating you well, it’s best to accept the end of the friendship and make new friends. As you grow and change as a person, you might not have as much in common with your old friends. That’s perfectly okay![8] X Expert Source Lena Dicken, Psy. DClinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 15 December 2020.
Use “I” statements and avoid being defensive or blaming. For example, say, “It hurts my feelings when I’m left out. What’s going on?”[10] X Research source Avoid blaming, criticizing, or becoming defensive.
If they say things just to be mean and it seems like their statements are an attack on you, disregard what they say.
If you keep inviting them over and they keep rejecting the invitation, it’s time to move on or talk to them.
For example, aim to be caring, reliable, and a good listener. Look for people who respond the same way.
If you’re not sure where to make friends, get involved in activities at school or outside of school such as sports teams, hobbies, and volunteering. Remember: it’s okay to feel sad when a friendship ends![13] X Expert Source Lena Dicken, Psy. DClinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 15 December 2020.
Try meetup. com to look for local groups. If you’re in school, look for clubs and organizations that match your hobbies or give back to the community.
