Were you hit because your parents thought this would stop a behavior they don’t like? Do your parents ever hit you after they’ve been drinking alcohol or after hearing bad news? Have your parents ever used an object to hit you, like a belt, tree branch, coat hanger, electrical cord, etc? Do your parents ever lose control while they hit you? For example, does a simple spanking turn into slapping you in the face or punching you? Do they ever pin you down and hold you there?
Cuts or scratches Bruises Bite marks Burns Welts (swollen lumps and bumps on your body) Muscle sprains Broken/fractured bones
Are your parents always well-dressed and well-fed, but unwilling to get you clothes that fit properly or to make sure you have food? Do your clothes and shoes fit you okay? Are they clean and warm or cool enough for the weather? Do your parents keep you clean by having you take regular baths/showers? Do they make sure you brush your teeth and comb your hair? Do your parents keep you and your siblings fed? Or do you often go without eating enough food? When you get sick, do your parents take you to a doctor and give you medicine? Are disabled children (you or a sibling) having their needs met? Are basic needs like food or water dependent on meeting a certain standard? If your parents leave the house, and no siblings are old enough to babysit, do they have someone older come and watch you? Or are you left alone and allowed to play in unsafe places/situations? How long are children left alone?
Sometimes being touched sexually can feel good, which can be confusing. The person doesn’t have to be hurting you for it to be sexual abuse. [4] X Research source
Difficulty walking or sitting because of physical pain[6] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source Bruises, pain, or bleeding from your penis, vagina, or anus Painful discharge during urination or other sign of an STD, frequent yeast infections or urinary tract infections
Exposing you to pornography on purpose (videos, photos, books, et cetera) Videotaping or taking photos of you naked, for sexual purposes Writing about your private parts
Talk to a trusted adult if you think someone you know is a victim of sexual abuse, just as you would talk to a trusted adult about your own parents abusing you.
Your parents yelling at you or scolding you does not count as verbal assault. That type of discipline is usually appropriate and has a purpose, as long as it doesn’t get out of hand. If your parents are constantly screaming or saying mean things to you, even when you haven’t done anything wrong, they are emotionally abusing you. If your parents talk down to you, shame you, or make fun of you on a regular basis, they are emotionally abusing you. If your parents are ignorant of your self-identity (LGBT) or talk down on you for it, that can be considered emotional abuse. Any verbal threats made towards you, your siblings, or other family members are also acts of abuse.
If your parent refuses to look at you, refuses to acknowledge you as their child, or refuses to call you by your real name, that is emotional abuse. If your parents refuse to touch you, deny your physical/emotional needs, or say mean things to make you feel bad, they are abusing you.
Not allowing you to be friends with people, simply because the parent doesn’t like them. Not allowing you to have friends over, or visit friends’ houses. Disallowing/ignoring your requests to leave the house or do an activity, even though they have the time/money to do so. Monitoring phone calls and other interactions. Criticizing people in order to alienate you from them. Pulling you out of clubs or even school because they don’t like the people you’re exposed to.
Saying they wish you were never born, or that they had aborted you Name-calling Saying they wish they had a different child instead of you (such as a girl instead of a boy, or a non-disabled child instead of a disabled one). Making fun of your looks or abilities Wishing you would die Talking about how bad/difficult/awful you are, either to your face or to someone else right within earshot Talking about how you have ruined their life Kicking you out of your home
Encouraging you to steal, do drugs, cheat, bully, etc. Giving you drugs or excessive alcohol, or doing this in your presence Encouraging irresponsible promiscuity Encouraging you to harm yourself or others
Expecting you to do things beyond your developmental level Making you care for a family member when you are too young or otherwise not able Blaming you for others’ behavior Expecting you to do an unreasonable amount of household chores
Putting you, a sibling, a pet, or a favorite toy in danger, as a punishment for something you did Extreme, unpredictable reactions Being violent to a person, animal, or object in front of you (such as throwing a glass against a wall, or kicking a pet) Yelling, threatening, or angrily cursing Holding you to high standards and threatening to punish or hurt you if you fail Threatening to harm you, themselves, or others Abusing someone else in sight or earshot of you
Making you do something embarrassing Looking through your phone, diary, or browser history Removing the door from your bedroom Videotaping your punishment to post on the internet Making fun of you Following you around when you are with friends
Calling you crazy or a liar Telling you “that’s not what happened” or “I never said that” Saying that you’re exaggerating Telling others that you are delusional, or otherwise unreliable and not telling the truth Moving things around and insisting that nothing has changed Saying “you did that on purpose” when you make a mistake
Tell the adult exactly what happened, and explain any circumstances surrounding the incident. Did anything lead up to it? The adult you talk to should be able to figure out whether your parents are abusing you. If the adult thinks that your parents are abusing you, she should then contact the police. If the adult tells you it’s abuse but doesn’t call the authorities, you should do so yourself. A school counselor should know who to contact and how to make sure you are safe. She may also have training to help you begin coping with the abuse.
Call 911 if you think your parent is about to hurt you. Your parent might show signs that you know mean they’re going to attack you — maybe it happens when they’ve been drinking, and you can smell the alcohol, and hear yelling. Whatever the signs may be, if you think you are about to be hurt, call 911. The police will be able to come to your home and stop your parent from hurting you right then and there. Look up the phone number for your local Child Protective Services office. You can find this number in the phone book or by searching online — but make sure your parents don’t know that you’re looking up this number. Call a crisis hotline. The Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline is operated 24 hours a day, seven days a week at 1-800-4ACHILD (1-800-422-4453).
