If they ask you what you want to talk about, say something vague. For example, you might say, “I just want to share some recent decisions with you. " If they persist, remind them that you’d rather talk about it in person. If your friend lives out of town, send an email or text to schedule a time to talk on the phone. Obviously, in person is best, but if you live in different parts of the country this may not be an option. Be aware that written words can easily be misinterpreted. This is one reason why talking directly to the other person, even though it’s hard, is best.
If you need to tell them what they’ve done that’s contributed to your decision, think about how you can phrase this as kindly and gently as possible. You might not want them to know why you’re ending things, and that’s fine. It’s okay to be vague, or to use phrases like, “Things have changed for me. . . " Don’t feel like you have to justify your decision, or defend it.
If they get angry, you’ll need to be prepared to take care of yourself. You don’t need to make a scene - it’s fine to simply walk away. Unless you’ve decided that you’re open to repairing the friendship, keep it short. You don’t have to help take care of them until they feel better. Simply state what you’ve decided, and tell them it’s time for you both to move on. Don’t get involved in debating whether or not you’re right or wrong.
Avoid the temptation to tell all your friends what your ex-friend did that caused you to end the friendship. Try not to feel like you have to defend your decision to your friends, because it will only further the bad situation.
Your mutual friends may also try to make you return to the friendship. If this is the case, redirect the conversation. Remind your friends that you’re just trying to move on. Don’t try to turn anyone against your ex-friend. If you lose friends because of your decision, they probably weren’t good friends anyway.
It might feel strange to not have your friend in your life anymore, but you will survive. Make sure to spend time with other friends. Try doing new things, and going new places with your other friends.
Focusing on the positive parts of your life - the things you enjoy about the way your life is now - can help keep you from feeling sad about your lost friendship. If you find yourself falling into negative thoughts, practice turning your thoughts to something more positive.
This method is appropriate for casual friends who you don’t really know very well. If the person is a new friend, this method is less leaving a friendship than it’s simply an acknowledgment that you never really became friends. It might take a longer time to leave a friendship this way.
For example, if the person asks if you want to go see a movie sometime over the weekend, then you might say something like “That sounds cool, but I already have a ton going on this weekend, so I really can’t. ”
For example, you could politely say hello to the person and then say something like, “Sorry I can’t stay and chat. I am already running late. Maybe some other time!” Try to be as polite and considerate as possible. Even if you do not want to be friends with the person anymore, you never know when you might bump into each other again and keeping things civil will reduce the chance of an awkward run-in. [8] X Research source
Try to avoid the strategy called “ghosting. ” Ghosting is when you cut off all contact with the person. For example, you would need to ignore the person’s texts and emails, stop returning phone calls, and unfriend the person on social media. Ghosting can lead to hurt feelings, anger, and concerns about your well-being, so it is not ideal.
