It’s best to tell them at a time when they’re calm and have time to talk. Make sure you choose a time that’s good for them. You might say, “I have something I want to talk to you about. Are you available to get coffee this afternoon?” or “I need to tell you something important. When can we sit down and talk?”
It’s okay to look away for 1-2 seconds at a time. However, do your best to keep your eyes focused on theirs.
You might say, “I need to tell you that I told you a lie. When I said that I lost your necklace, I was being untruthful. I actually just wanted to keep it. ” As another example, you could say, “When I told you I didn’t have homework, I was actually lying. Now, my grade is low because I never turned in my homework. ”
Say something like, “I was afraid that you would break up with me” or “I felt like you wouldn’t understand. ”
Say, “I felt like you would be angry with me, so I decided to lie,” or “I was worried about getting in trouble, so I lied. ” Then, say something like, “I’m not trying to make excuses. I just wanted you to know why I did what I did. ”
For instance, let’s say you lied to take credit for someone else’s work. You might say, “In reality, Alex did all the work on this project. ” Similarly, if you lied about kissing your friend’s crush, you might say, “We did kiss at the party, but it only happened one time. ”
You might say, “It sounds like you feel betrayed my actions and aren’t sure if you can trust me. ”
You could say, “Lying to you was the wrong thing to do,” or “I know that lying was wrong. ”
Say, “If I were in your place, I’d feel confused and unsure if I could trust me. I’d probably never want to talk to me again. ”
For instance, say, “I’m sorry that I lied about the kiss,” “I’m sorry that I lied to get credit for your work,” or “I’m sorry I took your necklace. ” Don’t make excuses like, “I’m sorry that I lied about the kiss, but I just got carried away,” or “I’m sorry I took your necklace, but you never wear it. ”
Be patient with the other person. They may want to think about their decision, so give them as much time as they need. If the person is a family member or partner, they might give you partial forgiveness since it’s hard to walk away from you. In this case, it’s best to keep apologizing until they totally forgive you. Apologize for what happened every time the subject comes up.
As an example, let’s say that you cheated on the person you’re dating. You might try to justify lying about it by telling yourself it would only hurt them if they knew and it was a one-time thing. However, it’s important to recognize that you aren’t lying to protect them. You’re actually lying to help yourself.
Say something like, “Next time, I’ll tell you immediately when something like this happens,” or “I’ll give you my passcode so you can check my phone whenever you like. ” You might show them you’re trustworthy by promising things like, “I’ll show you my homework assignment as soon as I get home,” “I’ll text you when I arrive to work and when I leave,” or “I won’t borrow any more of your things. ”
As an example, let’s say you broke a lamp and someone else got blamed for it. If they paid to replace the lamp, repay them and offer to do them a favor to make up for the trouble they went through. Similarly, you might have copied someone else’s paper, causing you both to receive zeroes. You might explain to the teacher that you were solely to blame and bring the person you wronged a treat to show you’re sorry.
As an example, if you say you’ll text them at a certain time, make sure you do it. Similarly, if you promise to meet them somewhere, be on time.
