Keep a positive attitude when you ask to hang out. Don’t assume you’ve been rejected already. You can say something like, “So, would you like to get together soon?” If the person says they’re too busy right now, respect that. Even if they like you, they may be too busy to invest time in someone right now. Try to make your invitation as direct as possible. [2] X Expert Source Crista BeckDating Coach & Matchmaker Expert Interview. 26 August 2021.
Suggest something you’re sure they’d enjoy. If you know they love sports, you could invite them to a game. If there’s a movie you’re both excited about, suggest that you go together. If they turn down the opportunity to do something they’d enjoy anyway, they’re probably rejecting you. Say something like, “That movie you were talking about is opening on Thursday. Do you want to make plans to go together?” If they accept your invitation, follow through and confirm the plans. It’s possible they may be thinking of this as simply a friendly hangout, but you can’t be sure yet. You can send a text or e-mail later that day (or the next) something like, “So, should we confirm plans for Wednesday? I’m free at 8 if that works for you. "
If they accept your invitation this time, that could be a great sign. It may mean that they are in fact busy, but are willing to make the time for you. If they turn down your second suggestion or are unwilling to commit to a date and time, chances are they’re trying to reject you.
Even if you feel hurt and disappointed, keep a positive attitude when you do this. Try not to appear bitter or angry. At the end of the day, you’re both different people with unique personalities and preferences. [6] X Expert Source Crista BeckDating Coach & Matchmaker Expert Interview. 26 August 2021. You can say something like, “It seems like you’re really busy right now. If you ever have the time and would like together, here’s my number. ” Prepare yourself for the fact that they may not ever call. Just because the ball is in their court doesn’t mean they’re going to pick it up.
Always leave a message if they don’t pick up. You can say something like, “I’d like to get together soon. Give me a call back when you can. ” Avoid calling “just to talk. ” This might seem odd, and some people don’t enjoy talking on the phone. Have something specific in mind. You could be calling to invite them somewhere, or to ask them a question. You can say something like, “I just saw an ad in the paper for that play you mentioned. Would you like to get tickets to go together?”
If you have strong feelings for this person, it might be hard to not hear from them for a while. However, you need to take this step to find out if you’re being rejected.
Asking via text or e-mail gives the other person more time to respond without feeling put on the spot. However, you’ll have to wait for the response, and that can be nerve wracking. Asking in person will give you an immediate response, but the person might feel put on the spot.
If you’re contacting them via text or e-mail, you can say something like, “It’s been hard for me to tell from your messages whether you’re interested in getting together. If you’re interested, I’d love to find a way to make plans. If you’re not, I completely understand that, too. ” Some people may still be too shy to be honest that they’re not interested. If they say something like, “I do like you. I’m just busy,” you should put the ball back in their court. You can say, “Cool. Well, feel free to hit me up whenever you want to make time to hang out. ” In person, you can say something like, “I really enjoy spending time with you, and it’s hard for me to tell if you feel the same way. Can we talk about that?” This will most likely spur the person to talk about their feelings.
If you have in fact been rejected, you can say something like, “Thanks for being direct with me about that. I really hope we can still be friends. " Avoid asking them why they aren’t interested in you. This can put the other person in an uncomfortable situation. Once you are certain that you’ve been rejected, you can confidently move on. It may be hard at first, but there’s no reason to dwell on someone whom you know isn’t interested in you.
