What branch of the military you want to join If there’s a specific job you’re aiming for How long of a commitment it will be What kind of training and education you’ll get Why you want to join How long you’ll be away from home What it means for your future How often you’ll be able to see them
Choose a family member or close relative that you think will be sympathetic and understanding of your decision. Your confidant can help you brainstorm questions you should prepare for, and get you ready for reactions that you might expect. You may even want to have a practice conversation with this family member in advance to help prepare you for the real talk with everyone else. [2] X Research source However, don’t try to determine what the conversation will actually be like, otherwise you might be thrown off guard if your family reacts in a way you didn’t expect.
Talk to your family in advance and let them know you want to get everyone together. Schedule a time when everyone is free. Ideally, make the meeting on a weekend, or at a time when everyone has had a couple hours to relax after work or school. If there are immediate family members who live out of town or far away, consider including them through a conference call or video chat. [3] X Research source
“I want to join the military” “I have been doing a lot of soul-searching lately, and have come to the conclusion that I’m joining the military” “After thinking long and hard, I’ve realized my calling is the military”
Telling them how they can keep in touch, such as by letters, phone calls, or emails Deciding how often you want to talk to them when you’re away Having them be available for you to talk to and share news with Having them be excited for you, even if they don’t agree with your decision
What kind of job you’re aiming for The pay scale and career path The opportunities this choice will create for you What you expect to gain from the experience That you understand the risks involved
For example, if you don’t explain your decision, your family may think you’re just trying to run away from something and don’t want to involve them. Have answers prepared for the why-type questions you’ll be asked, such as why you want to join the military. Don’t make up answers. Instead, if someone asks a question you can’t yet answer, tell them you’ll figure it out and respond later.
You must be 18 years old, or 17 and have parental consent. Height and weight restrictions Academic qualifications
Restate how important this is to you. Let them know that you see what they’re trying to do and don’t appreciate it. Ask them to reframe their concerns in a way that doesn’t involve making you feel guilty Reframe guilt as gratitude. Interpret this guilt trip as a sign that your family cares for you and wants the best for you.
Let them know that according to three decades worth of statistical tracking, only about 0. 082 percent of enlisted service members die in the military. [9] X Research source You can also remind them that it’s possible that you may also never be deployed and may never see war, depending on what happens in the world during your time in the military and your duties there.
Understand that panic is a common reaction to a family member joining the military, especially if there’s a good chance you’ll be deployed. [10] X Research source Reassure your family that you love them, but that you need to do this. But don’t become angry or heated yourself, as this will only increase tension. Use active listening techniques to hear your family out. While a member of your family is speaking, look them in the eyes, nod at what they’re saying, and focus on what they’re saying (not what you’re going to say to respond). [11] X Research source Help your family calm down by using a soft, love voice. Show them that you understand their panic and concern. [12] X Research source For example, you could say, “I understand that you’re worried about my safety, but this life decision is really important to me. "
To find a recruiter near you, visit the U. S. Army website. [14] X Research source If you’re having trouble talking to your family about your decision, you can also request that a recruiter come to your home to talk and answer questions. [15] X Research source
Recently discharged veterans are good candidates, friends or family members, or a civilian counselor. Ask about what it’s like, whether they enjoyed their time in the military, and whether they would recommend it for someone else.
Won’t alleviate problems in your life, and will only put them on hold Isn’t necessarily the only way to obtain an affordable education Means you might have to go to war Demands that your actions are controlled by your superiors
When you’re looking at joining, examine the job descriptions you’re considering and ask yourself how those skills would translate to a civilian workplace. [17] X Research source Also, be warned that many employers are hesitant to hire veterans, and this may make it difficult for you to get a job when you leave the military. [18] X Research source
Talk to a counselor or recruiter about what tuition assistance is available from that branch of the military, and how long you’d have to serve to have your education paid for.
Be deployed to a foreign country Have to fight and kill Have to risk your life Suffer psychologically, including from things like post-traumatic stress disorder
