Avoid prejudice or biases towards your lesbian friend based on misconceptions.
Physically touching you by hand or leg. Having strong eye contact, or gazing at you often. Smiling, laughing, and appearing to hang on your every word. Possibly being more physically shy or awkward than usual.
Does your friend seem to give pointed compliments to you often? Something like, “You’re so beautiful” or “You have gorgeous eyes. " Does she make a big effort to spend a lot time with you, even in group or large party situations? Do you feel like you communicate more with her than your other friends? Do you text or chat with her back and forth in the same way you do with guys you’re interested in?
Honesty in the beginning will help to avoid heartaches and drama in the future.
If you have already engaged in sexual contact (such as kissing) or already gone on what you both know is a date, then your relationship has already gone outside “the friend zone. " Be as kind and caring as you have been in the past with anyone you’ve dated.
If you are planning to reject your friend’s advances, avoid any embarrassment that may occur by talking in private. While you may be inclined to text or message your feelings about the situation, this may make things confusing or lead to misconceptions. Talk with your friend in person or at least over the phone. Direct private communication may be tough, but it will be better for both you and your friend.
Be respectful of your friend’s sexual orientation. Consider saying, “I respect your orientation, but I’m just not into you. I’m straight” or “You’re a great friend, and hope to keep it that way, but I’m straight and just don’t feel the same way. "
Keep doing the things that you usually do, and avoid making this a big deal.
True friendships will remain even after difficult times. Make clear to your lesbian friend about what makes her such a great friend. Avoid compliments that have sexual connotations, but instead focus on her strengths as a friend. A good friend is caring, reliable, honest, and trustworthy.
Talk with your friend about what challenges your friend may be facing with being a lesbian since society is often centered around heterosexual relationships. Understand her perspective.
Be gentle in how you react to your friend’s actions or what she says about being lesbian. Avoid being overly critical.
Your friend has a right to be who she is, and so do you. Allow your friends regardless of their sexual orientation the opportunity to express love. You may not reciprocate those feelings, but nonetheless they have a right to feel them.
