Recognize your feelings and include them in the this conversation. For example, “Mom/Dad, I met this wonderful person who I want to tell you about. But I am afraid you might not approve. ” Or: “I really like this guy, but he lives far away and I’m not sure how to tell him how much he means to me. Do you have any suggestions?”
Your parents will want to be sure that your boyfriend is who he claims to be and will not cause you harm. They will likely want to meet him as soon as possible, either in person or in an online video chat with you present. They will want to know how you communicate with your boyfriend: email, texting, video chat, or telephone. If your relationship has only been online, they may urge you to meet him in person as soon as possible to make sure your feelings are the same in person. Your parents may worry that you or your boyfriend may not commit to the relationship because of the distance.
Make two columns: one lists the concerns and questions they may have, and the other column lists your responses. Give yourself some time with this exercise, as ideas sometimes take days or weeks to come into your head. Talk to friends, family, and other trusted people for help if necessary.
Talk about his age, where he lives, and his occupation. Describe his family: for example, his parents, siblings, and pets. If he has hobbies or a unique skill, your parents will enjoy hearing about them. Show them photos or screenshots of your boyfriend, as putting a face to a description is always fun and helpful. Tell your parents one or more things you really like about your boyfriend.
Be ready to hear a variety of opinions on LDR, both good and bad. Find a person or two who knows your parents and how to best talk to them about sensitive topics.
“Mom/Dad, I read this interesting blog about long-distance relationships…what do you think about that kind of thing?” “I have a friend dating a guy in another state. I think it’s really cool, don’t you?” “When you were dating, did you ever meet anyone you liked who lived somewhere else? What did you do about it?”
Going on a walk or drive with your parents can be good—not sitting face-to-face can sometimes relieve the tension. Arrange a time in advance if it’s especially hard to find private time with them. You know your parents well, so think about the most relaxed times in everyone’s day and plan ahead. Be sure to find a comfortable location for the talk—avoid noisy and crowded places like restaurants where you may be interrupted.
Mention your new friend or pen pal and how much you like them. Tell them if you met online or in person, as this will likely influence their reaction. Be completely honest and open about how you met (online or in-person). Describe how long you’ve known each other, how you communicate, and what your plans are to introduce him to your parents. Explain how much you care about your boyfriend —allow them to see the situation through your eyes.
Hear their thoughts and advice completely before you respond. Ask them to clear up anything you don’t understand. They will be more likely to listen to your viewpoints if you listen to theirs. [3] X Research source Try asking them for advice, even if you don’t want or need it—they will be glad you asked and feel appreciated. If the conversation gets out of hand or becomes particularly emotional, take a break—giving each other time to breathe and consider each other’s opinions is a well-known method of conflict resolution.
Demonstrate your commitment to the relationship by discussing future plans with your boyfriend, and then your parents. Tell them the steps you and your boyfriend are taking to maintain the relationship (such as scheduled meetings or communication). Explain how your boyfriend may influence important areas of your life such as school, work, and hobbies.
Begin by telling them about a new “friend,” not boyfriend, to introduce the topic. Tell them why you chose to meet a potential boyfriend online instead of in-person contexts like a party.
Show them the website, chat forum, Facebook page, or dating site where you met him.
Explain your favorite format of talking, be it letters, text messages, email, or video chat. Tell them how often you talk with each other. Make plans to talk to him by video if you haven’t already.
Start making plans to introduce your friend to your parents. Offer to schedule a video chat with everyone present. Schedule a time you can talk to his parents, as this is equally important.
Tell your parents as much as possible about your boyfriend—and vice-versa—ahead of time so the conversation will feel more natural and relaxed.
Find a relaxed and neutral setting to meet so no one feels uncomfortable. Make a list of questions ahead of time, in case your parents or your boyfriend get tongue-tied and the conversation stalls.
Plan to have the meeting take place in a quiet location like home or an office. Make a list of questions ahead of time, in case your parents or your boyfriend get tongue-tied and the conversation stalls.
Offer the next meetings yourself instead of waiting for your parents to ask. Include your siblings if you have any, once the first meeting with your parents takes place.
