Honesty is generally good for most relationships. It can create less tension and promote an open dialogue between you and your parents. If you and your parents have a generally open relationship, it may not be a problem to tell them you’re becoming a Satanist. However, in the case of religious differences, being honest may create unnecessary strife. Consider how strict your parents are regarding religion specifically. If you’re still living at home, and your parents are very stringent in their beliefs, coming out as a Satanist can create a tense home environment. In some cases, your parents may even kick you out if they find out you’re a Satanist. You may want to wait until you’ve moved out to talk to your parents and practice in private until then.
Try to engage in relaxing exercises. Practice deep breathing or do some yoga stretches. Go for a long walk to clear your mind. Reframe how you’re thinking about the conversation. Instead of focusing on the potential fall out, try to see things from a more positive perspective. Think of this as you being open with your parents. Consider the benefits of having an open dialogue in your home. Try to look at the conversation as an exciting challenge rather than a burden.
Prepare a few phrases explaining Satanism, as well as the factors that inspired you to convert. You may want to jot your thoughts down and then look through these notes. Try to find the best way to phrase your feelings. Avoid over planning, however. Allow for some flexibility. If you plan a speech too specifically, you risk going into the conversation with stringent expectations of how it will unfold. You need to be prepared to let the conversation happen naturally.
As difficult conversations occasionally run over, choose a time where both you and your parents are free. Choose an early weekday evening, for example, where neither you nor your parents have plans or obligations. Choose the right place to talk. As the conversation may be heated, a neutral setting may be a good idea. You can go to a quiet coffee shop, for example. Avoid outside distractions. Leave your phone powered off or on silent during the conversation.
Do not assume parents who are irreligious, atheist, or agnostic will not be wary of Satanism. Due to the many misconceptions about the belief system, they may have reservations as well. This is why it’s a good idea to prepare ahead of time to make sure you know how to explain Satanism effectively. Even if your parents are not angry, some parents may not take Satanism seriously. Nonreligious parents especially may be more inclined to think of Satanism as a trend or fad than a legitimate belief system. With calm conversation, you may eventually get them to better understand your beliefs. It’s a good idea to be prepared for laughter or mockery on behalf of your parents. If you see this coming, you’ll be able to better handle your emotional reaction when it occurs.
Explain that Satanists believe fantasies are important to experiencing and making sense of the human condition. Symbolism and metaphor allow people to build meaning. To Satanists, Satan represents embracing worldly pleasures over supernatural deities and abstract beliefs. It also signifies an acceptance that there is little inherent meaning in the universe. It can be helpful to tell your parents many Satanists feel they are essentially atheists in many respects. The meaning of the term atheism is more readily understood, and may be helpful to use when explaining Satanism to your parents. Explain Satanists do not literally attempt to raise the devil, and any connection felt with Satan is an extension of the self. Satan is more of an alter-ego for Satanists than a literal entity that is worshipped.
Explain that satanists believe in personal accountability over adherence to strict religious doctrine. Tell your parents the identification with Satan is metaphorical and marks a rejection of traditional beliefs. Satanists believe in questioning all teachings and taking responsibility for their own decisions. Reassure your parents satanists generally believe in doing good in the world and towards others. However, Satanists believe goodness is a choice. They believe the universe is neither good nor bad, but indifferent. They also reject the idea of a soul or a spiritual side. Satanists identify as completely carnal in nature. Due to the emphasis on independent thought, Satanists believe many different things and choose the path of Satanism for different reasons. Tell your parents about your personal beliefs regarding Satanism, and the reason you’re becoming a Satanist.
An “I”-statement has three parts. It begins with “I feel. . . “, after which you immediately state your emotion. From there, you would state the behavior that caused that emotion. Lastly, you explain why you feel the way you do. For example, say you become frustrated during the conversation at one point. You may be tempted to say, “You guys are really judging me and pushing your belief systems on me without listening to my side. " This statement comes off as both hostile and judgmental and will likely do very little to help resolve the situation. You can easily rephrase the above sentiment using an “I”-statement. Say something like, “I feel judged when you keep bringing up your own religion without letting me talk because this makes me feel like you’re not listening to my side. "
Reassure your parents you do respect their beliefs. If they raised you in a certain religious background, they may feel rejected by you choosing Satanism. Tell your parents you appreciate them exposing you to their faith, even if you no longer follow it. If you have any reading materials on Satanism, recommend them to your parents. Allow them to explore the belief system on their own time. They may come around eventually.
Tell your parents what you want. Maybe you just want them to respect your wishes. However, you may want active support and investment. You may want your parents to learn about Satanism, and encourage your interests. Be clear about how you want to move forward. You can say something like, “I hope you better understand me from this conversation. Moving forward, I hope you can accept my beliefs and not try to change me. " You may have to compromise. Your parents may, for example, agree to avoid trying to change your mind. However, they may be wary to openly support or encourage your beliefs. While this can be disheartening, remember feelings change with time. If you did not get the perfect response this time around, you may get a better response in the future.
When it comes to religion, should the topic be strictly off the table at family events? Would you rather be able to share your religious experiences with one another openly? Are you okay with your parents asking you questions about your beliefs, as long as they do so in a respectful manner? Set clear boundaries regarding how faith with be discussed and approached between you and your parents.
After examining the list, approach your parents and tell them you want to find common ground. You could say something like, “As Catholics, you and dad believe in the Golden Rule. Satanists also believe in that rule. The only difference is, we believe in doing it for ourselves rather than a higher power. However, it’s fundamentally the same thing. " Your parents may be comforted to find how much Satanism has in common with other religious beliefs. This may help smooth over misconceptions and allow your parents to accept you for who you are.
