Are you looking for support from your partner? Do you think the relationship will benefit from your partner knowing about your condition? Has your partner been asking questions or noticed something is going on with you?
Determine if your partner will be understanding when you tell them this new information. Will they be able to handle the fact that you have depression? Will they be understanding, or will they think something is wrong with you or that you need to just get over it? You may want to prepare for negative reactions. Be aware that not all relationships can withstand problems like depression.
This may depend on how close you and your partner are and at what stage your relationship is. If you have recently gotten together, you may want to share less details than if you have been together for years. Ask yourself what will make you feel better to have your partner know about you. For example, you may just want them to know that you are depressed, but not that you are on medicine or go to therapy. You may want them to have details about how you feel, or you may share vivid thoughts and feelings you have.
For example, you may want to talk to your best friend, parent, sibling, or even therapist about your decision to share your depression with your partner. Ask them to help you in case your partner is not supportive. Make sure you protect yourself and your emotions. Though you are suffering from depression, there is nothing wrong with you. Depression is a common and manageable mental illness. Though you may love your partner, you come first. Be prepared to put your emotions and well being first if your partner is not understanding and supportive.
You can make a bulleted list outlining topics you want to cover. You may also consider writing a letter to your partner to read to them if that will be easier. For example, you may write down phrases like, “I have depression” followed by a list of your specific symptoms. You may also write down specifics about how you feel, such as “Sometimes I have trouble getting out of bed” or “I don’t feel like interacting with people most of the time. "
Try saying the words you want to say to your partner out loud. You may even find it easier to read it from what you’ve already written down. You may want to practice with a trusted family member or friend who already knows about your depression, or you may want to talk it through with your therapist.
You can get together resources for your partner in case they want to read more about depression. This may include reputable websites or books from medical institutions or psychological associations. You may want to do research into any related conditions you may have, like anxiety or panic disorders. You may want to research how other couples who deal with depression manage their relationship. You may consider going to a group therapy meeting to meet other people who have discussed their depression with their partners, or call a hotline for advice.
Try to do it when you are in a good emotional and mental place. This may not be an option if you are always feeling depressed. Try to pick a day where you feel up to the task of talking about your depression. Pick a good place to tell your partner. Don’t do it in a busy restaurant, or in a place where you are surrounded by others. Choose a quiet, private place where you two can talk.
Try to be as descriptive and honest about your feelings as you can. This can help your partner understand your situation more.
Explain your symptoms to your partner, such as having trouble getting out of bed, not wanting to eat or overeating, having trouble sleeping, having difficulty concentrating, losing interest in things you used to enjoy, and feeling fatigued. [5] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source If you and your partner were sexually or romantically intimate, your relationship may have suffered due to your depression. If this is the case, explain this to your partner. You may tell your partner that you’d like to find new activities that you enjoy doing together. Ask your partner to be patient with you. You can tell them that you may find enjoyment in those activities again, but if you don’t, you two can find other ways to spend time together. You may want to tell your partner what you do to treat and manage your depression. Explain that there is no quick fix, but these management techniques help put you in a better place.
For example, you may need your partner to stay at home watching television or playing games with you because you don’t feel like leaving the house. Maybe you want to cook dinners together instead of going to a restaurant. You may just need your partner to be a listening ear. You may need your partner to gently encourage you to get out of the house. If you feel like it, you can include your partner in some of your management strategies. For example, if you do yoga or exercise, you can ask them to go on a walk or come to a class with you.
It may be difficult for your partner to learn that someone they love is suffering from a serious illness. Some people may not understand what depression is, and other people may have stereotypes in mind about depression. Keep these things in mind as your partner reacts. If they don’t immediately respond with support and understanding, that doesn’t mean they won’t eventually. If you find yourself getting upset because your partner is upset, take a few deep breaths and remind yourself that everyone is allowed to have their emotions.
