A tendency to avoid eye contact. Limited use of varying facial expressions, and/or monotone voice. Limited use of expressive body language, such as hand gestures and nodding.
Remembering large amounts of spoken words may be difficult, and the person may prefer to have written directions when it comes to things they need to do. Some people with Asperger’s experience selective mutism, only talking when they feel comfortable. [3] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U. S. National Institutes of Health Go to source They may also find it difficult or impossible to speak during sensory overload, a meltdown, or in general.
The person might not recognize when they have said something hurtful, or when they’re making someone uncomfortable in a conversation. A child might play too rough, not realizing that pushing or other aggressive physical contact can be painful. The person constantly asks about people’s feelings (e. g. “Are you sad?” “Are you sure that you’re tired?”) because they aren’t sure how the other person feels. If the other person answers dishonestly, they may become very confused and try to seek an honest answer instead of letting it be. While they may not understand, they often care deeply. The person will act very surprised, sad, and apologetic when told that their actions were inappropriate. In most cases, they had no idea. They may feel worse than the person whose feelings were hurt.
Some people with Asperger’s realize that they monopolize conversations sometimes, and are thus afraid to talk about their interests at all. If someone is hesitant to talk about their favorite subject, and seems to expect the other person to get upset or bored with them, then they may be trying to suppress this impulse for fear of social repercussions.
Some people with Asperger’s, especially young children, may not demonstrate an interest in interacting with others. This usually changes as they age, and they develop the desire to get along and fit in with a group. People with Asperger’s might end up with just a few close friends who really understand them, or they may surround themselves with acquaintances they don’t connect with on a deep level. Autistic people are more likely to be bullied, and trust people who take advantage of them.
The person may make repetitive movements to help them cope. However, some people with Asperger syndrome learn to suppress these healthy movements for fear of seeming “odd. "
Some people with Asperger’s syndrome may have atypical development, rather than developmental delays. [8] X Expert Source Meredith Brinster, PhDLicensed Clinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 23 July 2021.
Students with Asperger syndrome may need to rest for a while after school.
Read things written by autistic people. There is a lot of misinformation about autism, and autistic people can offer the deepest insight about how it works and which treatments are the most effective. Read literature from autism-friendly organizations. Organizations like the National Autistic Society or MAAP publish up-to-date information about diagnosing, treating and living with Asperger’s. Reading a book written by someone with Asperger’s about that experience is a good way to get insight into the disorder. Try Nerdy, Shy, and Socially Inappropriate by Cynthia Kim or Loud Hands: Autistic People, Speaking, an anthology of essays by autistic writers.
Write down detailed descriptions of what you observe. That way, you’ll be able to give potential doctors and therapists as much information as possible to help get a correct diagnosis. Keep in mind that many symptoms of Asperger’s are shared by other disorders, like OCD or ADHD. It’s important to be open to the possibility that it’s something else (or multiple things), so this person can receive the right kind of treatment.
The results of an online test for Asperger’s syndrome are in no way the same as a diagnosis. Rather, it’s a way to determine whether further testing might be necessary. If the test reveals a tendency towards autism, you might want to make an appointment with the family doctor to find out more.
Having that first conversation with a professional can be an intense experience. Thus far, you may have kept your concerns mostly private. Sharing them with a doctor might change everything. But whether the person you’re concerned about is yourself or your child, you’re doing the right thing by acting instead of ignoring what you’ve observed.
During your meeting, don’t be afraid to ask a lot of questions about the person’s experience, diagnosis and treatment approach. If you aren’t completely confident that the diagnosis is correct, seek a second opinion.
If something feels off or uncomfortable after a few therapy sessions, don’t hesitate to find someone who’s a better match for you or your child. Trust is an important element when it comes to therapy. In addition to finding a trusted therapist, you might want the insight of specialized educators, nutritionists, and other professionals who can help you navigate the special needs of you or your child. Beware abusive and predatory specialists. Signs of a bad specialist include cruelty (restraint, yelling, withholding food), training the person to act non-autistic, and refusing to allow parents or guardians to witness therapy. They make false promises, like saying that they can “cure” autism, even though autism is lifelong. If the person hates or fears therapy, it needs to stop.
Do an online search for autism/Asperger support groups in your town. There may be one associated with the schools in your area. Consider attending a conference put on by the US Autism and Asperger’s Association,[13] X Research source ASAN, or another prominent group. You’ll gain access to a wealth of resources, learn about cutting-edge treatment methodologies, and meet people with whom you might want to keep in touch. Join an organization run for and by autistic people, such as ASAN or the Autism Women’s Network. You can meet other autistic people while making a positive difference in the world.
One essential way to make life better for a person with Asperger’s is to have a routine you stick to, since this can help them feel more secure. When you do have to switch things up, take the time to explain exactly why so the person understands. Modeling social skills for someone with Asperger’s can help them learn by example. For example, you can teach the person to say hello and shake hands while making eye contact. The therapist you work with will give you the right tools to do this effectively. [14] X Research source Celebrating the person’s passion and allowing them to run with it is a good way to support someone with Asperger’s. Nurture the person’s interest and help them excel at it. Show the person that you love them and their autism too. The best gift to give a person with Asperger’s is accepting them for who they are.
