However, keep in mind that even if you don’t have a theme, the party can still rock! It’ll be a bit more casual and for that reason, likely less suspicious. Your party-person could wander in and not even realize they’ve wandered into a party for them! What’s more, if there isn’t a theme, your guest of honor will be able to fit right in, not having prepared anything themselves.
If you do choose a restaurant, be sure to make a reservation around a month in advance. You want to be sure you can get prime space for all the people in your party.
In addition to picking a date before their actual day, choose a time and date where all of their friends are able to go and of course, the guest of honor, too. Since this is impossible to know without asking, improve your odds by giving them a lot of notice and choose a time and date where you don’t know of anything else already going on.
A small group. This is easier to manage, people can keep their mouths shut, and it creates a more intimate environment (easier to book at restaurants, etc. ) However, it’s less impressive and more people might be upset that they’re not invited. A large group. This is harder to manage and coordinate, the word might slip out, it’s harder to get a space, but in the end, your party person might be floored by seeing everyone they love in one room (alternatively, they could be overwhelmed, depending on their personality).
Having a one-on-one talk is better for a plethora of reasons: you make sure they understand everything, can emphasize how important it is to kept a secret, and you know no one else is around to overhear you. If they have any questions, they’ll come to you later, and not starting talking to other people. Keep in mind that you may have to lie to some people – those that you think may blab the secret. But don’t think of it as lying! Think of it as protecting the integrity of your party. Tell them that you’re doing a dinner or night out, but don’t tell them there’s a big deal behind it. However, tell them it’s only a few people, so don’t mention it. This way, they’ll have no reason to talk about it.
Tell others not to, too. This is where it gets tricky – even if some people aren’t invited, you may want to tell them not to make plans with your party person. Let them know you’re doing something with them for their big day that day (just a small thing) to keep their schedule clear.
There are a few things you can do to get around the fact that your party-person is the first or second type, though. If they always want to be prepared, tell them a similar story about what they’re “going to be doing” so they’re dressed appropriately and know what mood to be in. If they think they’re being forgotten, have something well in advance of their actual day.
Be sure it’s someone who’s actually close to them. If you choose someone who’s not really interested, they could be late, make the wrong suggestions, or blab to people you don’t want knowing.
If it’s a themed party, that’ll make choosing decorations and food a little easier (fewer options). Just make sure you have some hors d’oeuvres, drinks, and, for a birthday party, a cake!
This includes correspondence stuff, too. Don’t leave a message with someone else where the person can find it!
At this time, you may want to tell any guests you fibbed to of the actual details of the event. Just say you wanted to be sure it was kept a secret – there’s no way they can argue with that!
Have guests who are bringing items (like a dish) come even earlier, if they can. They can also go run an extra errand if need be, while you can continue setting up.
You’ll have a few people who are actually punctual. For them, make sure you have some food and drinks ready on time so they’re not left bored and hungry.
Make sure they keep you posted on how things are going and how far away they are. This way when you get a text that says, “10 minutes!” you’ll be fully prepared.
Make sure all the logistics are covered. Can your friend get in? Make sure the door is unlocked so you don’t have to ruin it by coming to the door in a dark room. Will parking be an issue? Is anyone in the bathroom as the party person is walking up the stairs? Get them out!
