The definition does not completely fit everybody—every autistic person is different! Some autistic people may have problems with sensory processing, while others don’t. Some autistic people communicate nonverbally or with AAC, while others communicate verbally (and may have a rather large or sophisticated vocabulary for their age). If you know an autistic person who does not fit all the diagnostic criteria, don’t assume that they’re lying or “faking it”—autism is a spectrum disorder, so not everyone has every piece of it.
Not all large groups are trustworthy. For example, Autism Speaks spread vaccine myths for years despite clear evidence[1] X Research source and promotes restrictive diets with no scientific backing. [2] X Research source It’s not the only group that promotes questionable ideas, either. Some people paint deeply negative pictures that may scare you or lead you to wrong conclusions. If someone paints themselves as a martyr or victim, don’t assume you’re getting the full picture. Life can be hard for autistic people, but there’s also lots of good in it, especially with the right supports.
Judy Endow MSW, Cynthia Kim, Pete Wharmby, Amy Sequenzia, Ido Kedar, Amelia Baggs, Emma Zurcher Long, and Kassiane Sibley are also good examples of autistic writers.
These organizations may talk about painful subjects from time to time, such as abuse of autistic or other disabled people. If you feel like you’re unable to handle hearing about those kinds of subjects, avoid them.
In past years, autism was separated into “classic autism,” “Asperger syndrome,” and “PDD-NOS” (atypical autism). These terms were later merged since nobody knew the difference. The term “Asperger syndrome” has fallen out of favor since it was discovered that Hans Asperger sentenced some autistic children to death. [3] X Research source [4] X Research source The “high-functioning” and “low-functioning” labels are sometimes used to describe autistic people. However, both autistic advocates and experts warn that these labels overlook the complexities of people’s needs and skills. They often do more harm than good. [5] X Research source [6] X Trustworthy Source Autistic Women & Nonbinary Network Nonprofit organization providing community, support, and resources for Autistic women, girls, nonbinary people, and those identifying as other marginalized genders. Go to source [7] X Research source Some people now use “levels” of autism, with Level 1 requiring the least support and Level 3 requiring the most support. These labels are supposed to define needs (not skills) and be subject to change. However, there’s still the risk of overlooking the person’s abilities or needs based on how you sort them. [8] X Research source
Sensory Processing Disorder (very often co-occurs with autism) Epilepsy/seizures Gastrointestinal issues Anxiety disorders Depression ADHD Oppositional Defiant Disorder Dyspraxia Schizophrenia
Keep in mind that autism is not a disease; a disability is not an epidemic or a pandemic. The terms “epidemic” and “pandemic” are most often used to describe diseases;[13] X Trustworthy Source Centers for Disease Control and Prevention Main public health institute for the US, run by the Dept. of Health and Human Services Go to source saying that there is an “autism epidemic” or “autism pandemic” can be offensive to autistic people.
Don’t listen to people who say “Your autistic child will never _____. " There is no way to know this. People can only take things step by step.
Vaccines were invented in 1796,[22] X Research source and have been used to prevent (and even eradicate) dangerous diseases such as smallpox. Conversely, the claim that the MMR vaccine causes autism was made in 1998, and was retracted by 2004. [23] X Research source [24] X Research source
On the flip side, autism will not be erased by the efforts of a “warrior parent,” a parent who pours all their energy into various therapies and treatments. Negligent parents may lead to Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), which shares some traits with autism, but is completely different. Do not mistake RAD for autism.
An autistic person will not automatically be an expert on math or science, even if they have a high IQ. Autistic people being mathematical thinkers is a stereotype and is not always true; some autistic people are bad at mathematical or scientific topics, but they can be incredible at other ones (such as language).
Autistic people can live a happy life and be autistic at the same time. Being autistic is not a sentence to a dark, gloomy life.
Autistic people often feel very distressed when they see someone else upset. [32] X Research source
Autistic children may act aggressive due to abusive therapies or built-up frustration, especially if they can’t speak and haven’t been given AAC. This is a panicked self-defense response, and is not premeditated. [37] X Research source [38] X Research source
Autism is lifelong. An autistic child will grow into an autistic adult. [41] X Research source [42] X Research source Anyone who claims they can cure autism is not being honest with you. Not everyone is diagnosed in childhood. Some may be diagnosed as teens or adults. Sometimes, they are diagnosed after their children are diagnosed. Autism tends to be overlooked in people who are not white and male. Doctors tend to focus on common traits in white males, so diagnosis may be harder for girls[43] X Research source [44] X Research source and people of color. [45] X Research source [46] X Research source
Not all autistic people avoid eye contact all the time. Many make eye contact sometimes, and a few make more eye contact than most people do. Don’t mistake a lack of eye contact for a lack of interests. Autistic people can have deep conversations and form close bonds without looking directly at someone’s eyes.
Special interests can fade, change, and be created over time. Sometimes, an autistic person may go through some time with no special interests. An autistic person feels very passionate about their interest. They may become especially talented in it. Parents can encourage the development of the interest. Sometimes, special interests can be people, whether they are romantic interests or not. [50] X Research source [51] X Research source The person can be a celebrity or someone that the autistic person actually knows. The autistic person may be interested in learning everything about the person, and be devastated if the two knew each other and they lose contact.
To add structure to each day, try writing out a schedule with everything the autistic person will be expected to do that day, and when. If the person is younger or if they don’t read, you might use pictures on the schedule, rather than words. [53] X Expert Source Laura Reber, SSPSchool Psychologist Expert Interview. 15 May 2020.
Disorganization Poor impulse control Difficulty getting started on a task Focusing trouble Difficulty self-monitoring
Some autistic people learn to speak late. Some are unable to speak. Some autistic children meet their milestones later than average, leading to a diagnosis. Others meet them early, or out of order. Some meet them “on schedule” at first, then slow down as meeting the demands of life becomes harder, which can lead to a later diagnosis. Teens and young adults may also meet later-life “milestones” later, such as driving, getting a job, or moving out.
Autistic people may not pick up unwritten social rules. They may need to be taught explicitly. Many (though not all) autistic people want to have friends, even if they’re introverted. [55] X Research source Unfortunately, communication struggles can make this harder. For example, an autistic person may not know what counts as “inappropriate” or how to help someone who is upset. Autistic people are at risk for bullying. [56] X Research source [57] X Research source [58] X Research source Bullies may target autistic people because they seem different and vulnerable. Bullying victimization can make life even harder for autistic people.
Stimming can help autistic people self-regulate, making it easier to manage stress and difficult environments. Don’t tell someone not to stim. Stopping someone from stimming isn’t healthy for them. If their stimming is causing harm, see if you can help them redirect to a harmless stim. [61] X Research source [62] X Research source
Autistic people can be both hyposensitive and hypersensitive to sensory input. An autistic person may love noise and have headphones on all day, but may not eat certain foods because of how they feel and taste.
Meltdowns look similar to a tantrum, but are not done on purpose. They may involve crying, screaming, lashing out, throwing oneself on the floor, et cetera. The person is too upset to fully control themselves. Shutdowns happen when an autistic person’s brain can’t process things, and they may stop being able to do tasks like cleaning up, talking, driving, et cetera. The autistic person may become very passive, and look sad or emotionless. Sensory overload is caused by an overwhelming environment. The only cure is time and a quiet place to rest.
Logic and systems thinking Attention to detail Visual thinking Long-term memory Sincerity Integrity[66] X Research source Out-of-the-box thinking
