The idea of “girl toys” and “boy toys. " Some people have started to defy this idea in recent years; however, it’s still a general rule that dolls and kitchen sets are “for girls” and trucks and toy weapons are “for boys. " The belief that femininity is inferior. Typically this is an undertone, not overt. Think about it: calling a girl “boyish” or a “tomboy” is a harmless description, while calling a boy “girly” is an insult. “Chick flicks” are made fun of. Stereotypically female pastimes, such as shopping and getting beauty treatments, are seen as shallow or silly, even by many females, who consider themselves superior for liking sports or books. Cultural standards of beauty. In most Western nations, the ideal woman, according to TV and magazines, is thin but curvy, with flawless skin and gorgeous hair. This gives girls an impossible standard to strive for. You should consider her feelings, needs, experiences, and concerns to understand her. [2] X Research source
Girls may be discouraged from expressing anger, or even asserting themselves. Thus, some of them end up repressing a lot.
Asking “What’s wrong?” may work, but it could also result in an “I don’t know” or an untruthful “Nothing. " This is usually a sign that she’s afraid of asserting herself. You can ask more specific questions (e. g. “Have I done something to upset you?”) or you can say “I’m willing to listen if you’d like to talk about it. "
In this case, it’s especially important to ask her what is wrong. After that conversation, give her a reminder of how much you love her (a big hug, kind words, giving ice cream, a romantic date, etc. ).
Ask what is wrong before you assume it is your fault. For example, maybe you mentioned a person who was being a total jerk, and it reminded her of the guy who has been bullying her. Her sadness may not be your fault.
If it’s a bad time, be upfront and reschedule or offer an alternative. Offering a different opportunity to connect shows her that your saying “no” to her is not a rejection of her, just a sign of bad timing.
Playing with her hair Making excuses to touch you Trying to get your attention Facing you and leaning towards you Smiling at you Making prolonged eye contact, or looking at you a lot Seeming pleased when you pay attention to her
Getting her face close to yours Smiling at you Biting or licking her lip Making eye contact (or trying to, but acting shy) Touching your face Looking excited when you start moving in for a kiss
If she gushes about a romantic gesture that her friend’s boyfriend did, it may be that she’d love a similar romantic gesture from you. For example, “Picnics are so romantic” might mean “I’d love to go on a picnic with you sometime, especially if you surprised me. "
Don’t jump to conclusions, though: nice gestures don’t always mean something is worrying her. They can also mean that she really likes you, or is in a very good mood, or thinks you make her happy and wants to make you happy too.
“Are you flirting with me?” “Do I see you hinting for a kiss?” “So what’s on your mind?” “You seem a little stressed. Is something wrong?”
Personality, experiences, cultural background, and disabilities such as autism can affect body language.
Try validating her feelings to encourage her to work through her feelings. (It can also help her feel better if she’s stressed. )
If you notice that a certain coping mechanism soothes her, keep it in mind so you can help. For example, perhaps you’ve noticed that your wife likes to play with the dog to calm down. When you see her stressed out at a family reunion, you could quietly mention that the dog might need a walk. This gives her an opportunity to go unwind if she wants.
Validate her feelings. Being nonjudgmental is key. Seek to understand first, and then try to work together to fix the problem. If you upset her, don’t defend yourself. Take a deep breath, be strong, and listen. Apologize for hurting her. It is okay to explain your actions, but don’t try to excuse them.
If you are romantically interested in her, try learning a bit about the subject. Ask her to teach you something, or look it up independently. See if her favorite topics overlap with things you like. This could be a great way to connect.
