For example, if you constantly tell yourself that you are ugly and worthless, two negative thoughts worth writing down would be, “I think I don’t contribute to the world around me,” and “I am not happy with my appearance. ” Write down as many negative thoughts as you feel comfortable bringing up. Right now, you are just brainstorming things you may want to address. Negative affirmations are typically rooted in a distorted view of reality, so positive affirmations will be rooted in a more objective truth. [2] X Expert Source Michael SternLife Coach Expert Interview. 1 July 2020.
It can be tempting to try to conquer all your negative thoughts. Ultimately, though, you will have more success if you start with just one or two and work your way up. Try writing down whatever negative thoughts you have every day. After a week or 2, look at this journal to see what types of concerns or criticisms you keep having. These repeat thoughts should probably be a priority to fix.
For example, if you are trying to counter the thought that you are not very smart, you could write, “I know how to design a program from the ground up and this makes me feel capable and intelligent. ” Don’t lie to yourself in your counter-arguments. If you’re not great at math, for example, don’t tell yourself that you are. The most effective counter-arguments will be the ones rooted in truth. Draw from all the amazing skills and experiences you already have. [5] X Expert Source Michael SternLife Coach Expert Interview. 1 July 2020. Don’t be overly positive in your affirmations, at least not at first. In fact, you are better off using neutral counterarguments rather than positive ones when you first begin. Over time, you can start to become more optimistic.
For example, a college student who feels unintelligent may say, “I am an intelligent, capable student who is on their way to graduating. ” Someone struggling with depression may write, “I am a loving, caring person who deserves to be happy. ”
Continue this process for as long as you need to counteract your negative thought. For some people, this may be a matter of several weeks. For others, it could take months or even years. Your affirmation will slowly force your brain to confront the disconnect between what you are saying and how you see yourself. Repeating your affirmation helps retrain your brain to stop feeling so uncomfortable when you think positively about yourself. [8] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U. S. National Institutes of Health Go to source
Picking an outcome will help you target your affirmation and give it real applications in your daily life. Give yourself enough time to reach your goal or to develop a new habit. It can take around 66 days to form a new habit or to change an old one. [10] X Research source Affirmations are helpful to begin rewiring your brain to think more positively, but you need to support that process with behavior that further reinforces the truthfulness of your positive affirmations. [11] X Expert Source Michael SternLife Coach Expert Interview. 1 July 2020.
Take stock of yourself by making an inventory of your best qualities, abilities, or other attributes: Are you gorgeous? Write it down. Are you a hard worker? Make note of it. Make your sentences short, first-person statements such as “I am generous,” for example, or “I can speak 4 languages. ” If you are struggling to think of positive things, challenge yourself to write at least 5 positives to start. You may find that once you get going, you’re more comfortable with the activity. Try asking someone else for their opinion on what your positive attributes are. They may identify characteristics that you haven’t noticed about yourself.
For example, if you are trying to quit smoking, let yourself know, “I will stop smoking because I am strong, I am determined, and I am worth the effort. ” If you are looking for a promotion, try, “I will get my promotion because I am an experienced, capable Project Manager. ”
If you can take 5 minutes twice a day to say your affirmation, that’s even better.
If you want that promotion, make an affirmation letting yourself know you’re worthy. Then, update your resume, put together a strong proposal, and let your boss know. Your affirmation will help you see that you are capable, and your actions will get the job done. Use your affirmation as a reminder of the fact that you can be the person you want to be. It should highlight some of your best traits. Reflect on those when things get tough.
You could decide that you want to write out your affirmation a certain number of times, such as at least 10 times before you go to bed. Post your affirmations in areas where you will see them often. Put one on your desk, mirror, car dashboard, or computer. Slip one into your wallet or carry a small notebook with you. Alternatively, you may decide that you only want to write it out when you are feeling especially stressed or upset.
If you are new to meditation, start by taking a few slow, deep breaths and trying to clear your mind. You probably won’t get all the noise out your first few times, and that’s alright. The simple act of trying can still have positive effects.
Slip one inside your desk drawer, or stick one to your computer monitor. Put one up on the bathroom mirror, and stick one on the refrigerator. Each time you see the card, read it and think about what it means to you. Carry your affirmation with you, too. Put a copy of your affirmation in your wallet or purse. If you need a pick-me-up, or if you find yourself about to waver from your goals, get it out and repeat it to yourself.
